Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dicks are not precious.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
