we have officially lost it.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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