Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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