so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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