I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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