No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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