new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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