I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
