is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's get the cat blown out
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
