And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
