If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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