I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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