I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
