nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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