I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
