No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
