i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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