Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This can only be settled by a dance off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
