my vag is so smooth its legendary
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
