I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
