he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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