Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
