I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
