it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
In America we eat man semen.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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