I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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