I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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