She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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