I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
