Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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