I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
