he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
