she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
