The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
