Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
