matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
