He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
