I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
