god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
