Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize