Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
