just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
