Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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