Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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