I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
