Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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