But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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