I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I got inside last night via doggy door
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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