Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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