The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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