It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
